Terms of Use

PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING AGREEMENT CAREFULLY. By visiting, linking to, bookmarking, or remembering Wonder-Tonic or any of its affiliated sites, you are agreeing to the terms below.

COPYRIGHT

All content presented on this site, including images, text, punctuation, fonts, colors, catch phrases, ASCII art, paragraph indents, jetpack blueprints, and imagined ringtones are the property of Wonder-Tonic and its subsidiaries and are protected by all United States, international, and interstellar copyright laws. Any republication, rebroadcasting, retweeting, reblogging, rechatrouletting, or repainting requires written consent from Wonder-Tonic and its board of trustees. Any approved use of Wonder-Tonic content requires attribution in at least 25-point Comic Sans and a margin of 1 inch between the content and anything else on the page, filled with stars. Any unauthorized attempts to save images, text, or video to a hard drive will cause an immediate and destructive explosion.

USER CONDUCT

When commenting on or about Wonder-Tonic and its subsidiaries, you may express yourself in any manner so long as it does not challenge, demean, question, threaten, exploit, or otherwise bore Wonder-Tonic and its subsidiaries. Any comments deemed racist, defamatory, obscene, or otherwise injurious to third parties must be typed in all caps.

PRIVACY

Wonder-Tonic and its subsidiaries respect the privacy of its users. For that reason, Wonder-Tonic and its subsidiaries only collect information vital to your visit. This information includes but is not limited to browsing history, Facebook status, email passwords, sock preference, home address, income level, hobbies, father issues, nightmares, genital swelling frequency, animal phobias, sandwich size, phrenological data, report cards, astrological signs, and hair color. Wonder-Tonic does not share this information with any other parties, besides its trusted marketing partners and the TSA.

TRADEMARKS

WONDER-TONIC, WONDERTONIC, WONDER-TONIC!, WT, WONDER, WONDERBLOG, ENTERBLOGMENT, LAFFBLOG, LAUGH-A-BLOG, CAMELMILE THE TEA CAMEL, CLICK THE PUPPET, ZING WHAT A DAY, YOU’RE UNBE-BLOG-ABLE, THE BLOG THAT EATS YOU, MONSTER PARADE, MAGRITTE THE DANCING RABBIT, BALL PIT, LAZER PIZZA, TWITTER-ROCKET, FAST-SHOES, and all other Wonder-Tonic graphics, slogans, catch-phrases, marketing ploys, syllogisms, spoonerisms, and haikus are registered trademarks and may not be used in connection with any product of service that is not profitable enough to sue.

RISK OF BEAR ATTACK

Wonder-Tonic and its subsidiaries will not be held liable for any damages caused by bears attacking users.

TERMINATION OF SERVICE

If a user violates any of the conditions stated above, Wonder-Tonic and its subsidiaries reserve all rights to block the user’s access to the site. “Blocking” includes, but is not limited to, IP-blocking, redirection, ethernet-cable-cutting, and false accusations toward the user of child pornography and/or terrorism. Any user complaints of unfair termination will be settled in the Thunderdome.

WONDER-TONIC AND ITS SUBSIDIARIES RESERVE THE RIGHT TO CHANGE ANY OF THESE TERMS AT ANY TIME.

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