March 21, 2010

Limerick Questions - Bittorrent Edition

Where you submit questions posed in the form of a limerick and I answer in a poetic style of my choosing.

haroldthefourth asks:

Bittorrent is tricky to use,
But FTP’s simply old news,
Please aid my decision
(and spare the derision)
Which file protocol should I choose?

My answer, in the form of a Victorian morality poem:

I could list both large and small
The wide array of protocols
IMAP, SOAP, and UDP,
The ubiquitous TCP/IP.
But I care not of these syntaxes
But how your goodness wanes not waxes.

O dear young man I fear you be
Enmeshed in tragic piracy.
Perhaps ‘twas only months before
You knew the path both kind and pure.
But with keystrokes typed by night
You’ve tresspass’d against many-a copyright.

O gentle reader, who can hold blame
For how you fell into such shame?
Perhaps your peers, these kids to-day?
Or the spiteful efforts of the RIAA?
Who could force you to such risks?
Could disint’rest in you compact discs?

I fear the answer lies inside,
Within your heart it doth reside.
And now your morality shall expire
Because you had to steal The Wire.
But, alas! Would it be such a chore
To purchase it all from the iTunes store?

February 7, 2010

Limerick Questions, Part 3

Where you submit questions posed in the form of a limerick and I answer in a poetic style of my choosing.

albertinho asks:

There was a President named Obama,
The Republicans think he’s an old llama.
Does he make you sad?
Does he make you mad?
Or do you love him as much as your mama?

My answer, in the form of Gilbert And Sullivan lyrics:

Many posed the question will keep it confidential
When dealing with matters of preference presidential
But for me to shy away or start to wax tangential
Would be to waste my blogosphere potential influential

So first I should admit my liberal disposition
And the magnet on my fridge in shameless exhibition
I voted for the man, my Chicago politician
As he stands for diplomacy and existing preconditions

His foibles have brought to the left sobriety
As mandates are replaced by increased anxiety
But though he is not perfect it is best for society
To be under mediocre Obama than the tea party

Ask a question

February 1, 2010

Anonymous asked: Please tell me, oh great Wonder-Tonic,
Who are as wise as Johnny Mnemonic,
If they met late at night,
Who'd win in a fight---
Mario the plumber or Sonic?

My answer, in the form of a heroic epic:

Lo, the champions of bravery and speed
Reaping coins and rings o’er plains and seas!
But in the land could only one prevail,
And toward dark chaos did history sail.

The two clans did battle upon the fjord.
Sir Tails fell first upon the plumber’s sword.
Rings did spill and tears did fall.
Anguish filled the hedgehog’s call.

But the fight waged on through levels and zones,
Till blue and red did stand alone.
The plumber shot many balls of fire.
The hedgehog spun higher and higher.

And at last with the spin of a cape,
Did the hedgehog meet his final fate.
Wiping blood from his moustache,
Did the plumber know victory at last.

(ask a question in the form of a limerick and i will respond in a poetic form of my choosing)

January 31, 2010

aedison asked: I saw your post as I scrolled by,
And wondered -- when did you last cry?
What moved you to tears,
Was it joy, hope, or fear?
Please tell me. And try not to lie.

My answer, in the form of an acrostic:

Fishes seeking home
In each other they must trust
Never before such a touching story told
Down! Swim down!
I cannot help but be moved
Not now, you can’t die now!
Go! Go! Escape the net!

Now reunited
Everyone has learned a lesson
Maybe now he can swim past the reef
Oh sweet fishes, so much like people!

(ask a question in the form of a limerick and i will respond in a poetic form of my choosing)