Subsequent Nine Months Of Chemistry Class Fail To Live Up To Awesome Explosion Demonstrated On First Day
Students in Donald Hummel’s third period chemistry class at Bellmore High School expressed disappointment yesterday over the failure of Hummel’s year-long curriculum to live up to the totally awesome explosion he showed them on the first day.
On August 31st, Hummel created a controlled explosion in the first ten minutes of class, reportedly by combining “some kind of liquid and some baking powder-looking stuff.” Hummel followed the experiment with the declaration that what they had just seen was chemistry, and that was what they would be learning this year. Sixteen year-old Nate Davis described the resulting fireball as “pretty damn awesome,” adding that it was probably the coolest thing that happened in the first day of school.
But now, with the school year over in just a few days, many students feel cheated and misled. They claim that what they learned in class did not have the excitement or danger of the first day’s fireball. “We spent the entire year seeing if white stuff would show up when we dripped one thing onto another thing,” claimed seventeen year-old Amanda Barker. Other students echoed similar sentiments, declaring that learning how big a mole is was not at all as cool as creating an enormous fireball.
Sixteen year-old Phil Barkley summed up the sentiments of the class, asking “how much shit do I have to titrate before I can make something explode?”