First, thanks for all the enthusiastic buzz about the TIME RIFT universe. Due to popular demand, I’ve begun work on the latest installment. Comments welcome! Financing opportunities still available for parts two, three, and four! Posters still needed!
EXT. BOSTON - 1770
A group of PISSED OFF PATRIOTS protest TAXATION. They’re SURROUNDED by UPTIGHT BLOODTHIRSTY REDCOATS who move in closer and closer. BETSY ROSS approaches one of the soldiers.
BETSY ROSS (hot when angry)
You can’t oppress us like this! We’re Americans!
The REDCOAT raises an M-16 AUTOMATIC RIFLE and COCKS IT.
BETSY ROSS (that rifle doesn’t belong in this time)
Where did you get that?
The line of redcoats SPLITS and in walks KING GEORGE THE THIRD decked out in ROYAL CLOTHES, a CROWN, and a BANDOLIER OF HAND GRENADES.
KING GEORGE (an asshole)
Vietnam, my dear. All right, boys, let’s have ourselves a little massacre.
The REDCOATS pull out their M-16 AUTOMATIC RIFLES. They’re about to carry out the BOSTON MASSACRE. Suddenly, a FAINT BLUE LIGHT appears in the sky overhead. Everyone stops and LOOKS UP.
KING GEORGE (confused)
What the devil?
The BLUE LIGHT GROWS and GROWS until it becomes a STARGATE-ESQUE PORTAL. A ROAR OF WIND comes through the PORTAL. The REDCOATS hold on to their HATS.
Just as “SCHISM” by TOOL starts to play, a huge HARRIER JET comes down out of the portal and HOVERS over the redcoats. In the COCKPIT is ROCKY “RIPCORD” KELVIN, decked out in a FLIGHT SUIT and a TRICORNER HAT. Behind him is PAUL REVERE, looking pissed as hell.
ROCKY (ready to beat ass)
Sorry, did I interrupt your party?
KING GEORGE (flustered)
Who the devil are you?
ROCKY (let’s do this)
Tyranny’s worst nightmare.
ROCKY presses a button and UNLEASHES HELL on the REDCOATS. They’re BLOWN TO PIECES by the HARRIER JET’S VICIOUS MACHINE GUN AND HEAT-SEEKING MISSLES.
All the British are dead except KING GEORGE. Just as ROCKY gets a lock on him, KING GEORGE activates the JETPACK HIDDEN UNDERNEATH HIS CAPE and flies off.
ROCKY (to Paul Revere)
Looks like we’ve got some unfinished business.
BETSY ROSS (confused but attracted to Rocky)
Who are you? Where are you going?
ROCKY (can’t make out with her or he’ll disrupt the flow of history)
Don’t worry about that. Maybe you should take a look at this.
ROCKY drops a piece of PAPER out of the cockpit. BETSY ROSS catches it. ROCKY presses the TURBO BUTTON and the jet FLIES LIKE HELL after KING GEORGE. BETSY ROSS looks at the PAPER.
It’s the design for the FIRST AMERICAN FLAG. “SCHISM” BLASTS.
SMASH TO BLACK
