WONDER-TONIC

Awkward Chatbot

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 12:23:40 -0400

Have a chat with the most awkward chatbot around.

The Startup Legitimizer

Thu, 07 Mar 2013 14:05:08 -0500

Quickly create and embed a fake press module to fabricate the media buzz that your startup deserves. The Startup Legitimizer.

sorrythatusernameisalreadytaken: showmethemoneyfucktomcruise...

Tue, 05 Mar 2013 11:22:40 -0500

sorrythatusernameisalreadytaken:

showmethemoneyfucktomcruise has been taken on gmail

Sorry That Username Is Already Taken records the greatest usernames that you’ll never get to own, like showmethemoneyfucktomcruise@gmail.com

The Most Terrible SXSW Panel Ever

Tue, 14 Aug 2012 09:05:39 -0400

SXSW offers a number of mind-numbing, buzzword-heavy panels about the future of the internet. The panel proposed by Chris Baker and myself strives to be the worst ever. Please vote for it.

Most SXSW panels strive to be intriguing and inspiring. This one strives to be terrible. Featuring a barrage of offensive PowerPoint, buzzwords and opinions lifted shamelessly from tech blogs, and live questions encouraged as often as possible, Mind Exploding Life Changing Mega Panel Symposium will teach you how to winnovate your incubator startup, pivot your cross-platform mobile-centric social network, gamify your band, and blast your Klout score to stratospheric heights with a mix of Kickstarter campaigns and paid YouTube views. It’ll be a dose of relief in the midst of the same old tired panels your friends, family, and non-bot followers stroke their egos with year after year.

You've Got Gmail

Mon, 13 Aug 2012 07:38:00 -0400

Download this Chrome extension to hear “You’ve Got Mail” every time you get a Gmail message. 14.4k modem not included.

UPDATE: Unfortunately AOL’s lawyers do not find this to be entertaining. It’s been pulled from the Chrome web store.

Pre-Internet Companies Rebranded As Modern-Day Start-Ups

Fri, 20 Jul 2012 15:29:46 -0400

StandrdOi.ly
yoonyun pacificster
genrl lectricly
westinghouseable

Read the rest at McSweeney’s

The McSweeney's Book of Politics and Musicals

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 07:52:33 -0400

This very moment you can buy a copy of The McSweeney’s Book of Politics and Musicals, which contains things written by people from The Onion, The Daily Show, and under-attended tumblrs.

Once you purchase it, you should turn immediately to the pieces I have written:

The Only Thing That Can Stop This Asteroid Is Your Liberal Arts Degree
Perhaps Now You Wish You Would Have Paid Closer Attention to Your Judicial Candidates for County Circuit Court!
Your Attempts To Legislate Against Hunting Man For Sport Reek Of Class Warfare

mikalabierma: Asshole in a Relationship: Date

Fri, 15 Jun 2012 08:31:46 -0400

mikalabierma:

Asshole in a Relationship: Date

You Are the Only Human Being Left On Earth Not In Graduate School: A Post-Apocalyptic Nightmare

Thu, 14 Jun 2012 07:59:30 -0400

Like The Omega Man, except everyone is in grad school instead of dead.

You step outside and find the streets deserted. You pull out your phone to see if some catastrophe has occurred. Disease? Neutron bomb? War? Are you left alone in an evacuation zone? You see Facebook is still abuzz with activity, but all of your friends are posting about how much they hate finals. “These people graduated college years ago…” you think. A scrap of paper blows down the street like a tumbleweed and lands on your leg. You look at it: an admissions letter from the NYU creative writing MFA program. Then it hits you. You are the last human left on earth. Everyone else has gone to graduate school.

Read the rest at McSweeney’s

Art Descriptions

Tue, 29 May 2012 10:07:23 -0400

Art Descriptions takes artists’ statements about their work and presents them without any context. Now you can enjoy the over-involved description without any of that pesky art.

Made with Chris Baker.

Stand-Up Dog, your favorite depressive dog comedian, tries to...

Thu, 24 May 2012 16:44:38 -0400

Stand-Up Dog, your favorite depressive dog comedian, tries to decide who to invite to his next show on Facebook.

ROFLCon!

Fri, 04 May 2012 11:09:22 -0400

For those of you who are on the bleeding edge of internet comedy and are attending ROFLCon this week in Boston, you can come see Chris Baker and I speak, Saturday at 4:30pm.

We’ll be promoting our new amazing disruptive monteizeable mobile HTML5 crowdfunded local offer startup. If you enjoyed the Fax App Store, you’ll likely enjoy this.

We’re on the lineup against Scumbag Steve. Not a joke.

What kind of wacky antics does a dog who does stand-up comedy...

Wed, 02 May 2012 08:52:32 -0400

What kind of wacky antics does a dog who does stand-up comedy get into? Mostly sitting in an apartment full of self-doubt.

Created with Mikala Bierma.

I Am The One Who Clicks Banner Ads

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 10:25:17 -0400

While you check the weather, I find out why California dermatologists hate the one weird skin care secret discovered by a stay-at-home mom. While you read the New York Times, I rollover for more information about how to get my diabetes under control. While you search IMDB, I click for showtimes, tickets, and behind-the-scenes videos for Think Like a Man. Page after page, banner after banner, I click and I click.

Read the rest on McSweeney’s

Get Your Copy Of On The Bro'd Right Now

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 07:50:19 -0400

Exciting news from your favorite bro-speak translation of Kerouac’s On The Road

onthebrod:

It’s totes official, bros. On The Bro’d is available for purchase on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, or wherever books are sold. You can even get it as an eBook, if you’re some kind of douche with a Kindle.

So grab a copy of the book, a case of Natty, and shotgun a brewdog every time there’s a semicolon.

Charity Bribes

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 10:13:37 -0400

Charity Bribes uses donations to pressure celebrities to do things. Right now you can bribe Larry David to join Twitter by donating to the NRDC. If he does it, the money goes to the charity. If not, he’ll just have to find some way to live with himself.

Been building this with Chris Baker and William Burks Spencer for some time. Hopefully giving to charity will now be just a little more awesome.

Sounds of the Internet

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 08:09:14 -0400

Sounds of the Internet puts all the best websites with autoplaying music into one awesome playlist.

Made with Chris Baker

onthebrod: In anticipation of the publication of On The Bro’d,...

Tue, 06 Mar 2012 10:08:31 -0500

onthebrod:

In anticipation of the publication of On The Bro’d, here are classic movies subtitled for bros.

Buttcrack Or Not. An important video-based buttcrack-spotting...

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 08:48:40 -0500

Buttcrack Or Not. An important video-based buttcrack-spotting game. Made with Mikala Bierma.

In Which I Fix My Girlfriend’s Grandparents’ WiFi and Am Hailed as a Conquering Hero

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 08:48:56 -0500

An epic heroic tale of plugging and unplugging the power cord of a wireless router:

But then one gray morning did Internet Explorer 6 no longer load The Google. Refresh was clicked, again and again, but still did Internet Explorer 6 not load The Google. Perhaps The Google was broken, the people thought, but then The Yahoo too did not load. Nor did Hotmail. Nor USAToday.com. The land was thrown into panic. Internet Explorer 6 was minimized then maximized. The Compaq Presario was unplugged then plugged back in. The old mouse was brought out and plugged in beside the new mouse. Still, The Google did not load.

Read the rest on McSweeney’s