Blurry leaked photo of Apple Tablet confirms rumors that white males aged 18-35 are actively ignoring two wars, a recession, and imminent ecological disaster.

After pictures from Cupertino leaked to the internet today, it appears the rumors are true. White males aged 18-35 are desperately trying to distract themselves from the onslaught of depressing— if not terrifying—- news about the military, social, economic, and ecological states of their world.

After the picture first appeared on engadget at 8am, comments poured in from white males eager to believe a new tablet was the most important news of the day. “Holy shit, is that an HDMI port?” user VistaSux asked, clearly trying not to acknowledge the horrific car bomb that exploded in an Iraqi market the day before. Seconds after, user AnrdoidBoy28 responded “R u f-ing serious? It’s probably just another bastardized proprietary display port that Steve Jobs will make u pay $40 for the adapter.” This set off a flurry of responses by white males eager to not have to question why numerous Americans continue to die in Iraq even after electing a President who ran on the platform that the war was useless.

Finally, some consensus was reached by WaveFanatic84 who reminded everyone not that in 30-40 years most of the east cost will have been swallowed by rising sea levels, but that the display output of a tablet is essentially irrelevant, stating “Zune has HD output. Big whoop.” Many users then agreed, and decided they would need to see more pictures to make a decision and to further distract themselves from the nation’s double-digit unemployment rate.

With that, white males were then able to move on to questions of the quality/makeup of the tablet’s bezel and forget about the growing quagmire of the oft-forgotten but ever-worsening war in Afghanistan.

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