GameStop Customer Already Fantasizing About Marrying Female Cashier

CHICAGO, IL - After only a few seconds, 32 year-old GameStop customer Jeff Hendricks has already begun fantasizing about marrying Elizabeth Mitchell, the sole female employee of the video game retailer’s north side Chicago franchise. Although their relationship has so far consisted of Hendricks placing a copy of Mafia II on the counter and Mitchell commenting “good choice,” it has been enough to lead Hendricks to imagine a brief but passionate courtship, a spectacular proposal atop the Empire State Building, and decades spent growing old together. He can only assume that Mitchell’s offer to sign him up for an Edge Membership Card means that she would not be opposed to having two-to-four kids and settling down in a beautiful house near the foot of a mountain, maybe in Colorado.

1. djpooh915 reblogged this from wondertonic and added:

   HOPE I GET THE JOB !!!!!!MY DREAM JOB

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7. adamconover said: Write twenty-nine more like that and you’ll have a solid Onion packet on your hands.
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   Tangent: instead...watching ‘The Usual Suspects’ with other people, I’ve decided

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