January 2012
2 posts
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In Which I Fix My Girlfriend’s Grandparents’ WiFi...
An epic heroic tale of plugging and unplugging the power cord of a wireless router:
But then one gray morning did Internet Explorer 6 no longer load The Google. Refresh was clicked, again and again, but still did Internet Explorer 6 not load The Google. Perhaps The Google was broken, the people thought, but then The Yahoo too did not load. Nor did Hotmail. Nor USAToday.com. The land was thrown...
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Pre-Order Your Copy of On The Bro'd
Exciting literary news: On The Bro’d, my full-length bro-speak parody of Kerouac’s On The Road, will be published in April and is now available for pre-order. Get your copy now before the keg is totally tapped.
onthebrod:
Starting right now, you can pre-order your very own copy of On The Bro’d. Unlike this chump of a blog that just has some lame-ass excerpts, the book version of On The...
October 2011
2 posts
2 tags
Welcome To Internet Time Out
Now when someone writes in all caps, has a horrible website, or otherwise uses the internet wrong, you can put them in Internet Time Out.
Made with Chris Baker
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The Likeable Bible
The Bible is an important text, but its social networking integration is somewhat lacking. The Likeable Bible puts a Like button next to every verse.
Made with Chris Baker, Jeff Greenspan, and Doug Loffredo
September 2011
2 posts
4 tags
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The Likeable Constitution
Rank what you like about the US Constitution on Facebook.
Made with Chris Baker, Jeff Greenspan, and Doug Loffredo
July 2011
1 post
June 2011
3 posts
1 tag
Your Renegade Ways Have No Place In Geek Squad
What, you expected some kind of hero’s welcome because you fixed an older couple’s router during a routine HDTV setup? Not from me, hotshot. You’re a goddamn TV install technician. That is fucking it. You hit anything else, you call for backup. I don’t give two shits what kind of home networking crap you pulled in the academy. There is an order here for a reason.
Read the rest at...
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The World's Most Exclusive Website
If you’ve got a verified Twitter account, you can hang out inside The World’s Most Exclusive Website.
Made in association with Jeff Greenspan, Chris Baker, and Doug Loffredo
(In case you saw it earlier, it’s no longer auto-tweeting, so enjoy with your mind at ease.)
May 2011
3 posts
1 tag
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On The Bro'd is Going to be a Book
It’s official. America’s premiere sentence-for-sentence translation of On The Road into bro-speak is going to be published.
If you haven’t seen On The Bro’d yet, get to it.
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Broadway Audience Soundboard
Now you can simulate the most frequently-whispered phrases by audience members of Broadway musicals.
Previously: The Art Film Audience Soundboard
April 2011
4 posts
3 tags
Mayors of the Waffle House
See who goes to the Waffle House the most on Foursquare.
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In Xanadu Did Kubla Khan A Stately PowerPoint...
In Xanadu did Kubla Khan A stately PowerPoint decree: For VP of Logistics, Stan And key stakeholders of the plan For scaling in Q3.
So ninety slides so media-rich With animations on every switch. And here were slides rife with sinuous clip art Where blossomed many a stick figure with a key; And here a line, pie, scatter, and bar chart, Enfolding watermarked stock photography. But oh! that...
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PLEASE COME TO MY IMPROV SHOW
A record of Facebook users begging their friends to come to their improv comedy shows.
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Excerpt From My Screenplay: TIME RIFT 6: GOD SAVE...
I’ve just finished Episode 6 of the TIME-RIFT UNIVERSE and I think this one is stronger than ever. Here’s a sneak peek! Comments welcome!
INT. WINSTON CHURCHILL’S MIND - DAY
A calm SUNNY DAY inside the British Prime Minister’s BRAIN. Winston Churchill’s SUBCONSCIOUS SELF-PROJECTION walks down the road reading a NEWSPAPER.
Suddenly a NOISE comes from overhead....
March 2011
7 posts
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WONDER-TONIC Now Available as a Spreadsheet!
Just looking at my Google Analytics data, I can see that more and more users are trying to view my website not with a conventional desktop browser, but with a spreadsheet. Taking this future-trend seriously, I have worked long hours for the past two months to develop a spreadsheet-friendly version of this site. Just navigate here to get all the great content of WONDER-TONIC in a grid-based,...
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WONDER-TONIC at SXSW
As you may have already guessed from my tendency to always be on the bleeding edge of the online space, I will be speaking at SXSW this weekend.
If you’re as bleeding-edge as I am and will be in Austin this weekend, please come check out Andy Baio’s Worst Website Ever, where I will be presenting a five-minute pitch for a terrible website in an effort to win $5 from a real venture...
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February 2011
6 posts
Liveblogging The Oscars
10:26pm EST - Can you believe this???
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Great Literature Translated Into Bar Codes
The Books2Barcodes project is working hard to convert classic books into thousands of 2D barcodes, allowing you to read great literature with only your computer, cell phone, and plentiful attention span. Check out classics like Moby Dick, Ulysses, and A Tale Of Two Cities, all in convenient QR code format!
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Swimwear Industry Celebrates Release of Annual...
After months of planning, executives from America’s top swimwear manufacturers celebrated the completion of their industry’s yearly journal of successes, technical innovations, and prominent players. Although largely unnoticed by the general public due to its impenetrable jargon about “bodypaint” and “the world’s hottest female athletes”, the annual...
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Streetview Zombie Apocalypse
Enter a location and run from zombies inside street view. Please use Google Chrome (Safari tends to be okay too).
This is rather experimental, so please let me know if it’s horribly broken for you.
Enormous thanks to Tyler Clapp for the zombies.
January 2011
5 posts
Wolfenstein 1-D
Wolfenstein 3-D. Converted into a one-pixel line.
2 tags
Which Geologic Time Period Are You?
Find out if you’re more a Jurassic person or a Cambrian person with this awesome quiz.
2 tags
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If This Fusion Restaurant's Website Could Talk
WHOA! The balloons just flew away when you clicked! You just “liked” us on Facebook! Thanks!! DANCE MUSIC!!!!! OH WOW a whole cityscape just popped up! Click each building to learn about the key principles of our cooking! Come on! Fine. To get to the menu, just click the building that looks like a dojo! WHOA NOW YOU’RE FLYING THROUGH A VIRUTAL CITYSCAPE JUST LIKE—uh oh. Try...
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Countdown to the Seventh Anniversary of TORQUE
January 16th marks the 7th anniversary of the release of the greatest motorcycle racing film ever: TORQUE. Use this page to easily track the time until the big day and learn interesting facts about TORQUE.
December 2010
7 posts
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Who's Pooping on Twitter?
A real-time feed of people tweeting about their bowel movements.
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How Glenn Beck Understands Operation Payback
INT – ACORN-FUNDED HACK-CAVE – NIGHT Rows of TEENAGE HACKERS in THICK GLASSES and shirts emblazoned with ACORN LOGOS and HAMMERS AND SICKLES sit behind massive COMPUTERS, typing furiously as MATRIX-STYLE LINES OF CODE stream down the monitors. On one rocky wall of the hack-cave hangs an ENORMOUS OIL PORTRAIT OF JULIAN ASSANGE STYLED AS JESUS CHRIST. On another wall hangs a PAINTING OF BARACK OBAMA...
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Get Your Site To The Bottom of the Internet
WONDER-TONIC is joining forces with Urlesque to offer an incredible Web 3.0 social-optimized marketing service. You’re all welcome.
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4chan Declares War On Snow
A loosely-organized group of internet activists known as Anonymous announced on Sunday that it was declaring war on the meteorologic phenomenon known as snow. The hacker group, born out of the influential internet messageboard 4chan and responsible for the recent attacks against MasterCard and PayPal, explained in a statement that it would do everything in its power to shut snow down by...
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November 2010
4 posts
1 tag
Check Out What's New On Friendster!
Hi Michael,
We’ve noticed it’s been a while since you logged into Friendster! You should check out the all-new “Fun” section, where you can use apps, browse forums, and share pictures with your network! Log in and check it out! That wouldn’t kill you, would it? To just log in? Friendster has been working for years on this and it would really appreciate it if you’d just log...
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TSA Announces Facebook Integration For Full Body...
John Pistole, the head of the Transportation Security Administration, announced yesterday that full body scanners at airports across the nation will be seamlessly integrated with Facebook next month, allowing travelers to save, tag, and share their near-naked security photos with friends, family, and co-workers through the popular social networking site. Immediately after being subjected to a...
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On The Bro'd
On The Bro’d is an ongoing translation of Kerouac’s On The Road into bro-speak. Please read it to understand the stirring unrest and genius of a generation of bros.
The only bros for me are the awesome ones, the ones who are mad to chug, mad to party, mad to bone, mad to get hammered, desirous of all the chicks at Buffalo Wild Wings, the ones who never turn down a Bud Light Lime,...
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Election Night 2010: Final House Party Projections
Kid will try to convince Pop to let him go to Play’s party but Pop won’t let him - 90% (after 10,000 simulations)
George Clinton will be DJ-ing the Alpha Delta Sigma reunion - 86% (after 15,000 simulations)
Stab, Pee-Wee, and Zilla will be unable to break up the party - 94% (after 20,000 simulations)
October 2010
2 posts
4 tags
Like Fighter
Like Fighter lets you use the Facebook “Like” button to pass judgment on hundreds of people, places, things, and abstract concepts. All you need is a Facebook account and a passion for preferring some things over other things. Get to it and show your friends what you care about.
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Welcome To Our A Capella Group! →
September 2010
2 posts
3 tags
GameStop Customer Already Fantasizing About...
CHICAGO, IL - After only a few seconds, 32 year-old GameStop customer Jeff Hendricks has already begun fantasizing about marrying Elizabeth Mitchell, the sole female employee of the video game retailer’s north side Chicago franchise. Although their relationship has so far consisted of Hendricks placing a copy of Mafia II on the counter and Mitchell commenting “good choice,” it...
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